Eurovision: Crappy music at it's best
I must say that Europe does crappy music the best. No wonder people go to Europe[and I'm guessing Japan is the same say] when theyre trying to make it. These suckers listen to anything. Case in point, Eurovision, [official English site here] a show that pits ALL 800, 000 Europeans nations against each other in a 'singing contest.' [Seriously, why are there so many damn countries on this ONE continent??] Let's just say these people would NEVER make it in America, except a couple cuz of course they look hot and that's all that makes money nowadays anyway. Not to say there weren't some performances that weren't good, such as the first girl that was from Hungary and the singer from Israel who could give Mariah Carey a run for her money.
Apparently the show used to actually be credible[back in ABBA days and Celine Dion even won the contest in 1998], but now, Europeans make fun of it...actually make that ENGLAND makes fun of it. Apparently, people hold Eurovision parties; my roommate Shelly went to one last night. And a lot of the comments that were running on the screen from people sending in text messages were from some people at Eurovision parties. My roommates are thinking of having one next year too. They make a mockery of it basically beacuse England never gets any votes...ummm...because apparently no one likes them. And apparently no one likes any of the big Super countries either, as evidenced by the final four countries: Spain, UK, France, and Germany. All the other 50,000 countries vote for each other and will usually give votes to their neighbours.
The commentator was THE BEST. An Irishman named Terry Wogan had us in stitches. Ive never laughed so hard. He would make fun of the contestants and their songs and lyrics. His sarcasm is unparalleled, especially when he was commenting on the voting. For example, all the Scandinavian countries usually give each other LOTS of votes; like when Denmark was voting, he sarcastically said "...and 12 points goes to Norway! Big surprise there." He would also remark "apparently microphones are useless in this competition" when he was referring to how the female host would scream at the top of her lungs. But apparently everyone knows it's political and everyone knows exactly how the voting is gonna go. So I asked my roommates why anyone watches the show then. Apparently, the other European countries still take the contest, in its 50th year, seriously, but the big 4 just watch it for fun and to mock the contests. Like I said, they hold parties to do this!
The contestants: like I said, some were actually good, Hungary, Isreal, Denmark; but sadly, the bad outnumbered the good. Some highlights:
1. Norway was the worst, with some band that was trying to be like Rolling Stones/Aerosmith/The Darkness, but he just looked like a gay transvestite[if that makes any sense];
2. Moldova, with some Red Hot Chili Peppers wanna be's with lyrics such as "Grandma beat that drum, Grandma beat it hard" and whose performance only got worse when they ACTUALLY brought out this rotund old woman with a mallet banging away at a big ass drum like the song said;
3. The "refugess from a boy band" [according to Terry] from Latvia[I do give them kudos for signing the song at the end of their performance though];
4. The Serbian Justin Timberlake from the ONLY boy band of the competition from Serbia and Montenegro; I was like 'No child, Justin rocked that hairstyle two years ago'; they even had the cheesy boy band hand movements[a la Backstreet Boys] down;
5. the wanna be Celine Dion from Malta[she was singing to the tune of 'The Power of Love']; one text message even said 'Celine really let herself go.' referring to how....ahem....rotund she was.
6. and my FAVOURITE reject, the Cypriot Ricky Martin with his too tight and too small white shirt and tight black pants, and with his cane and odd looking pelvic thrusts.
7. TOO MANY MORE TO DESCRIBE!!
That's why as soon as he announced there was gonna be a DVD, I decided I must buy it. It is too cheese-tastic not to get some kind of token to remember it by.
The show also strangely contained a large amount of drums and canes; they were in every other performance. My roommates' friend Karen kept asking "what's with all the [expletive] drums??"
After all 1,000,000 countries turned in their votes, the winner was some girl from Greece singing some song about 'your my lover, undercover.' whutever. She was aight and she was close with the girl from Israel, who I really wanted to win, at first, but then she pulled away. Dunno how the hell that happened. The Fat Celine came in second.
Apparently the show used to actually be credible[back in ABBA days and Celine Dion even won the contest in 1998], but now, Europeans make fun of it...actually make that ENGLAND makes fun of it. Apparently, people hold Eurovision parties; my roommate Shelly went to one last night. And a lot of the comments that were running on the screen from people sending in text messages were from some people at Eurovision parties. My roommates are thinking of having one next year too. They make a mockery of it basically beacuse England never gets any votes...ummm...because apparently no one likes them. And apparently no one likes any of the big Super countries either, as evidenced by the final four countries: Spain, UK, France, and Germany. All the other 50,000 countries vote for each other and will usually give votes to their neighbours.
The commentator was THE BEST. An Irishman named Terry Wogan had us in stitches. Ive never laughed so hard. He would make fun of the contestants and their songs and lyrics. His sarcasm is unparalleled, especially when he was commenting on the voting. For example, all the Scandinavian countries usually give each other LOTS of votes; like when Denmark was voting, he sarcastically said "...and 12 points goes to Norway! Big surprise there." He would also remark "apparently microphones are useless in this competition" when he was referring to how the female host would scream at the top of her lungs. But apparently everyone knows it's political and everyone knows exactly how the voting is gonna go. So I asked my roommates why anyone watches the show then. Apparently, the other European countries still take the contest, in its 50th year, seriously, but the big 4 just watch it for fun and to mock the contests. Like I said, they hold parties to do this!
The contestants: like I said, some were actually good, Hungary, Isreal, Denmark; but sadly, the bad outnumbered the good. Some highlights:
1. Norway was the worst, with some band that was trying to be like Rolling Stones/Aerosmith/The Darkness, but he just looked like a gay transvestite[if that makes any sense];
2. Moldova, with some Red Hot Chili Peppers wanna be's with lyrics such as "Grandma beat that drum, Grandma beat it hard" and whose performance only got worse when they ACTUALLY brought out this rotund old woman with a mallet banging away at a big ass drum like the song said;
3. The "refugess from a boy band" [according to Terry] from Latvia[I do give them kudos for signing the song at the end of their performance though];
4. The Serbian Justin Timberlake from the ONLY boy band of the competition from Serbia and Montenegro; I was like 'No child, Justin rocked that hairstyle two years ago'; they even had the cheesy boy band hand movements[a la Backstreet Boys] down;
5. the wanna be Celine Dion from Malta[she was singing to the tune of 'The Power of Love']; one text message even said 'Celine really let herself go.' referring to how....ahem....rotund she was.
6. and my FAVOURITE reject, the Cypriot Ricky Martin with his too tight and too small white shirt and tight black pants, and with his cane and odd looking pelvic thrusts.
7. TOO MANY MORE TO DESCRIBE!!
That's why as soon as he announced there was gonna be a DVD, I decided I must buy it. It is too cheese-tastic not to get some kind of token to remember it by.
The show also strangely contained a large amount of drums and canes; they were in every other performance. My roommates' friend Karen kept asking "what's with all the [expletive] drums??"
After all 1,000,000 countries turned in their votes, the winner was some girl from Greece singing some song about 'your my lover, undercover.' whutever. She was aight and she was close with the girl from Israel, who I really wanted to win, at first, but then she pulled away. Dunno how the hell that happened. The Fat Celine came in second.
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