Cigarettes are vitamins?
Yesterday, I saw the dumbest thing I think I've seen in a while. My flatmate Shelly's mother came to visit cuz apparently they have some therapy session or some shit to do today. Are the crazy? I dunno. So yeh, her mother comes in and immediately declares "I need a fag." She proceeds to go outside and smoke her cigarette, since you're not allowed to smoke in the apartment. Now I don't mean to, but I can't help but to ALWAYS laugh on the inside when I see smokers outside in the freezing cold puffing away. I seriously think if you told them they could only smoke in a ring of fire while a being beaten with a cricket bat that they would still do it. So she's puffing away outside[well semi-outside since she stayed half-in half-out], then comes back in and then immediately does what?
TAKES TWO PUFFS OF HER ASTHMA INHALER. Incorrectly, I might add. I wanted to scream and say "that's not how you use it!" But then again, no ones seems to ever use them right. So eff 'em. Good luck with the asthma. It's not like it's your breathing or anything!
Illogical? Yes, but people don't always do what's logical. Stupid? No shit, Shercock. Funny? Definitely yes, because I see chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder in her future[COPD for all the lay people]. And her daughter's a pharmacy student! But hey, I guess she can't really control what her mother does.
She's a nice lady though. She brought some Welsh food for Shelly, and I was offered to sample some ball with what looked like corn beef hash inside. 'Twas delish! She also brought some Welsh newspapers for Shelly to read. I proceeded to look at the papers and exclaimed "what the hell?" Shelly laughed and told her mother. Welsh...ahhh...same alphabet..TOTALLY DIFFERENT FOREIGN LANGUAGE. At first, I thought Welsh would be somewhat close to English. But it might as well be Russian! It made no sense whatsoever..most of the words didn't even seem to have vowels so I asked Shelly how to pronouce stuff....Im still clueless. That thing takes a special tongue. One headline read "3 millwn pounds" so I think to myself that all the W's are basically O's.
They were planning on going out later that night, but I thought I might call up Mabu and see what she's doing. She said she was trying to do work, but being the devil incarnate I am, I said don't do any work and come out for a drink. We agree to meet at RSVP at 10pm..excuse me 2200. Like this is the military and shit. Getting ready, I hear a knock on my window. Tis Moussa, who came to return my wireless card that I had loaned him. Since it was almost time for me to go out, I felt obligated to invite him out too, so I did. I told him a little about Mabu and he proceeded to ask if she knows this other Tanzanian girl. Ummmm, I dunno! And not all Tanzanian people know each other lol. "I thought all the black people would know one another" he jokes. Yehhhh OK. And seeing as how she says she never really goes out in Bath, I highly doubt it. Anyway, off to RSVP. We were a little early, so he bought me a drink. I will say the one thing I definitely like about going out with him is he'll always buy at least the first drink for me. Yes, im a user...sue me. Yeh and the music was wack. Apparently, the night I went there before was a Saturday, not Friday so I suggested we go to Babylon instead.
Mabu arrives and we all get a drink and sit down. I see some people that had worked in one of the pharmacies with me, and I went over to say hi. Now I dunno if it's because they were drunk or what, but they were acting like they didn't recognize me. Or I guess they didn't seem very enthusiastic to me, so I said Eff you and I let them be. Maybe im overreacting.
Off to Babylon, where it was sorta empty but I assured my companions it would definitely get packed. They immediately flashed me the 'whatever' look but I said trust me, it will. A shot of Sambuca[I saw the bottle now I know how to spell it!] and a smirnoff and lemonade in my hand, and I was off to the dance floor. The music was good except of course that annoying little thing where they played the song to the freakin end! Ya, can I have my songs sans those two seconds of silence in between? What is this? A CD?? Can I get some mixing? But whatever...since this is the best playlist Ive heard in Bath so far, I accept it.
We dance. We talk. I semi-vomit at the sites of all the couples kissing, including one that was THISCLOSE to my damn face. I do the 1,2 Step. We loudly sing all the words to "1 thing" by Amerie[we both love that song! and apparently it's a Go-go song, a type of music they listen to in Washington, D.C]. We get annoyed by people that can't dance in a confined space[make a square and stick to it, people!] The music takes a horrible "cheesy" turn ["cheesy" = old 80s type music...I think it can go even further back cuz they even started playing music from "Grease"]. We go to the underground 'grottos' to sit. Get annoyed by the smokers right next to us. Move to another part, when Mabu sees a girl she knows. They start talking and a friend of the girl starts talking to me. Interesting conversation. I pick up his bag of cheap cigarettes[they don't even have the decency to put them in a carton] and ask if the warning labels have any effect on him. He proceeds to tell me hell no and says that the labels actually make people smoke more. He then starts to tell me that he discovered one good reason for why people should smoke. I think "what the hell!!" and ask him to elaborate.
This is the gist: though it might be bad now, in about 200 or 300 years, the contents in cigarettes may actually become vitamins and therefore beneficial. WHAT?? He says it's some theory about genetic mutation, blie bluh blah . I laughand tell him I don't think benzene and tar would ever be beneficial and then Mabu says she's about to go. That girl never stays till the end of anything, but I didn't think the music was gonna get better again anyway, so I said I'd leave to. We'd lost Moussa earlier in the evening, but I sho nuff spotted him as I was leaving chatting up some girl named Stef who had introduced herself to us earlier in the evening when she was the only one of her friends dancing and she wanted to join us great dancers instead.
On the way home to dropping me off, he would tell me that him and the girl Stef had gone out to his car where they had kissed. I said "Whatever" accompanied by the W sign from 'Clueless.' "Of course we did. She wants me." I swear to Jehovah, this boy thinks everybody 'wants him,' but I don't think he means it like how I think. We go to Halal's House of Fried Chicken and I mooch some of his chips. End of night. Tomorrow, I'm going out for a traditional English breakfast with my roommates since I told them I haven't had it yet.
Few times I been around that track so it's not just gonna happen like that, cuz I aint no Hollaback girl.
TAKES TWO PUFFS OF HER ASTHMA INHALER. Incorrectly, I might add. I wanted to scream and say "that's not how you use it!" But then again, no ones seems to ever use them right. So eff 'em. Good luck with the asthma. It's not like it's your breathing or anything!
Illogical? Yes, but people don't always do what's logical. Stupid? No shit, Shercock. Funny? Definitely yes, because I see chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder in her future[COPD for all the lay people]. And her daughter's a pharmacy student! But hey, I guess she can't really control what her mother does.
She's a nice lady though. She brought some Welsh food for Shelly, and I was offered to sample some ball with what looked like corn beef hash inside. 'Twas delish! She also brought some Welsh newspapers for Shelly to read. I proceeded to look at the papers and exclaimed "what the hell?" Shelly laughed and told her mother. Welsh...ahhh...same alphabet..TOTALLY DIFFERENT FOREIGN LANGUAGE. At first, I thought Welsh would be somewhat close to English. But it might as well be Russian! It made no sense whatsoever..most of the words didn't even seem to have vowels so I asked Shelly how to pronouce stuff....Im still clueless. That thing takes a special tongue. One headline read "3 millwn pounds" so I think to myself that all the W's are basically O's.
They were planning on going out later that night, but I thought I might call up Mabu and see what she's doing. She said she was trying to do work, but being the devil incarnate I am, I said don't do any work and come out for a drink. We agree to meet at RSVP at 10pm..excuse me 2200. Like this is the military and shit. Getting ready, I hear a knock on my window. Tis Moussa, who came to return my wireless card that I had loaned him. Since it was almost time for me to go out, I felt obligated to invite him out too, so I did. I told him a little about Mabu and he proceeded to ask if she knows this other Tanzanian girl. Ummmm, I dunno! And not all Tanzanian people know each other lol. "I thought all the black people would know one another" he jokes. Yehhhh OK. And seeing as how she says she never really goes out in Bath, I highly doubt it. Anyway, off to RSVP. We were a little early, so he bought me a drink. I will say the one thing I definitely like about going out with him is he'll always buy at least the first drink for me. Yes, im a user...sue me. Yeh and the music was wack. Apparently, the night I went there before was a Saturday, not Friday so I suggested we go to Babylon instead.
Mabu arrives and we all get a drink and sit down. I see some people that had worked in one of the pharmacies with me, and I went over to say hi. Now I dunno if it's because they were drunk or what, but they were acting like they didn't recognize me. Or I guess they didn't seem very enthusiastic to me, so I said Eff you and I let them be. Maybe im overreacting.
Off to Babylon, where it was sorta empty but I assured my companions it would definitely get packed. They immediately flashed me the 'whatever' look but I said trust me, it will. A shot of Sambuca[I saw the bottle now I know how to spell it!] and a smirnoff and lemonade in my hand, and I was off to the dance floor. The music was good except of course that annoying little thing where they played the song to the freakin end! Ya, can I have my songs sans those two seconds of silence in between? What is this? A CD?? Can I get some mixing? But whatever...since this is the best playlist Ive heard in Bath so far, I accept it.
We dance. We talk. I semi-vomit at the sites of all the couples kissing, including one that was THISCLOSE to my damn face. I do the 1,2 Step. We loudly sing all the words to "1 thing" by Amerie[we both love that song! and apparently it's a Go-go song, a type of music they listen to in Washington, D.C]. We get annoyed by people that can't dance in a confined space[make a square and stick to it, people!] The music takes a horrible "cheesy" turn ["cheesy" = old 80s type music...I think it can go even further back cuz they even started playing music from "Grease"]. We go to the underground 'grottos' to sit. Get annoyed by the smokers right next to us. Move to another part, when Mabu sees a girl she knows. They start talking and a friend of the girl starts talking to me. Interesting conversation. I pick up his bag of cheap cigarettes[they don't even have the decency to put them in a carton] and ask if the warning labels have any effect on him. He proceeds to tell me hell no and says that the labels actually make people smoke more. He then starts to tell me that he discovered one good reason for why people should smoke. I think "what the hell!!" and ask him to elaborate.
This is the gist: though it might be bad now, in about 200 or 300 years, the contents in cigarettes may actually become vitamins and therefore beneficial. WHAT?? He says it's some theory about genetic mutation, blie bluh blah . I laughand tell him I don't think benzene and tar would ever be beneficial and then Mabu says she's about to go. That girl never stays till the end of anything, but I didn't think the music was gonna get better again anyway, so I said I'd leave to. We'd lost Moussa earlier in the evening, but I sho nuff spotted him as I was leaving chatting up some girl named Stef who had introduced herself to us earlier in the evening when she was the only one of her friends dancing and she wanted to join us great dancers instead.
On the way home to dropping me off, he would tell me that him and the girl Stef had gone out to his car where they had kissed. I said "Whatever" accompanied by the W sign from 'Clueless.' "Of course we did. She wants me." I swear to Jehovah, this boy thinks everybody 'wants him,' but I don't think he means it like how I think. We go to Halal's House of Fried Chicken and I mooch some of his chips. End of night. Tomorrow, I'm going out for a traditional English breakfast with my roommates since I told them I haven't had it yet.
Few times I been around that track so it's not just gonna happen like that, cuz I aint no Hollaback girl.
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