Journey into the unknown

So yeh, the adventure to the Polynesian restaurant was last night. When we got there, I realized I''ve passed by the restaurant before, but never really thought anything of it.

We pull up to the front and to valet is complimentary...to park your car yourself is $2. Huh? What's the logic to that?? I wish I knew.

Inside, the restaurant is dark as hell. Not subtle "we're on a date" romantic lighting. I mean DARK like "I can't read the menu" dark. I had to remove the cover from one of the lamps just so I wouldn't further damage my eyes! Come on, people, my eyes are already bad...don't make it any worse here.

The drink menu is about ummm...18 pages long. The drinks are divided into every category possible: mild, medium and strong, etc. I get a mild drink, which was REALLY good. They should have that mild category everywhere!! Not too overpowering but you can still taste the alcohol a little.

The food menu comes. It's about 8 pages long. What kinda sign is that when you're drink menu is twice as long as the food menu?? I dunno..are polynesians REALLY into alcohol? Who knows.
I didnt really know what kinda food to expect and someone asked us if we knew what Polynesian food was. I said "Pineapples and oranges?" She joked and said no Jamaican people she's asked know what type of food it is. Well, we're about to find out. I figured it would be tropical/Asian and turns out I was right.

After we order, we decide to go out back to stroll through the gardens, which turned out to be pretty cool. We tried to limbo under this bamboo shoot....yeeeaahhh, that didn't happen. As we stroll along, I jokingly interlocked my arm with my friend's and told her she was my date. We laughed and said ain't that a shame.

My food arrives and I'm not too pleased. This thing was so full of salt I was getting high blood pressure just smelling it! My friend said it wasn't salty, but I think I'm just becoming sensitive or something cuz I've thought this the last few times I've eaten out. I blame my mother. She doesn't put salt in anything anymore.

The best part of the night was the show, which everyone was bitching and moaning about how they had to pay for it lol. They did dances from all of Polynesia..Tahiti, Fiji, Samoa, Hawaii, New Zealand, etc. The Maori dance from New Zealand was the best and actually made me wanna go to the country! My friend's sister, along with some other dude, got pulled up on stage. She rocked, he sucked.

My friend kept commenting on one of the sweaty dancers lol cuz we were right next to the stage. "His sweat's gonna get into my food!" she said while covering up her food. Later on she said "Can you smell his B.O?" hahaha I was like "u cannot smell anything..stop lying." This girl has the biggest aversion to sweat and perspiration that I've ever seen. But you can't expect anything else from a girl that NEVER sweats. If she sweats, then you KNOW it's hot.

My other friend said "I think the MC is Jamaican." We all laughed and said "ummmm, why would a Jamaican guy be the announcer for a polynesian restaurant??" He even LOOKED like he was 'polynesian' so that's not possible. But we all agreed that he just had a generic MC/DJ voice and that he could be on any radio station. Another guy at the table did a REALLY good impression of him that had us all cracking up...he sounded straight off the boat from Jamaica so the impersonation was right on.

When I got the bill, I was none too pleased either especially since I'm a poor college student. But it was worth it, cuz we did something different! But let's just say I won't be going back there for a looonnng time.